2017 for me was the year of loss, love and lessons. I also experienced a bit of personal growth from my experiences. I started out the year like a BOSS, attending a fun, fruitful conference where I joyfully networked, received some new opportunities and reunited with old friends. The upcoming months were filled with great coaching clients to work with, travel, new friends who I love, some exciting art licensing opportunities and a class reunion. Then the second half of the year started to slow down and came to a screeching HALT!
My 83 year old mother passed away!
It was devastating. She had been slowing down but we weren't prepared for how quick her decline was. She was surrounded by friends and family as we hospiced her at home in New England. I felt honored to be there by her side in her last days with my loving and supportive family. My friend perfectly describes losing your mom as the "earthquake of your life". It is disorienting, confusing and painful. My dad had passed away a few years prior and having no parents was something I just never could've imagined - let alone at 43. It hit me - I wasn't alone. I realized that many people are having babies in their 40's now. My mom had me at 40 in the 70's when it was completely unheard of. Now it's the norm. I learned first-hand that life is short, precious and that we must cherish our loved ones and every moment we have with them creating sweet memories.
I realized at this time it is important to be present to my feelings and welcome every emotion and everyone who reached out. I wasn't interested in working hard or anything that resembled it. I wanted to retreat and found warmth and comfort in receiving love from friends and family. This holiday season would be different for sure and as it approached I began to feel the absence of my parents. The waves of sentimental feelings that the holiday bring made me deeply appreciate and feel their love. I decided to spend that time with family in another state and go on a bit of a road-trip adventure. The adventure was just what I needed and then...
My website was hijacked!
UGH. I was away from home in the middle of my trip and there wasn't much I could do. I had potential business and some announcements coming out and knew people would be looking at my site in the next week or two. The site was riddled with malware. The home page had Asian language in which the Google translator said I was selling wheelchairs and electronics. UGH. I decided to toss up my hands and enjoy my vacation. Being present and enjoying the time with my family was more important and geez with all I had been through this wasn't the end of the world. I normally would've been a Defcon 5 situation but I weighed out the good and bad and decided that I would not let this ruin my vacation. I clearly grew from my experiences and realized it will get fixed.
So here we are with a new site and a new blog. I considered the website hacking a blessing. I never would've made a new site in a week's time. My old blog content needs to be cleaned of malware and it can be restored. That's next for me to tackle. I now have a new, fresh start in this new year. Being present, going with the flow and learning the lessons is the new normal for me. My mom is with me always and I am sure she's proud of my growth.